Child Centered Play Therapy focuses on building a relationship that allows your child to express their thoughts and feelings through play so that they will grow into a more confident, secure, and emotionally stable version of themselves.
Let’s break that down…
At the heart of CCPT is my relationship with your child. This trusting relationship is the ground that allows children to let their guard down and begin to explore their hurts, concerns, fears, and issues that bring them to my play room. I’m working hard to communicate in my attitude and actions five “be with attitudes” (Landreth, Garry. Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship, 3rd Ed. Routledge, 2012):
- I’m here.
- I hear you.
- I understand.
- I care.
- I delight in you.
The warmth and caring environment eases children’s tension and anxiety. I’m communicating that they are important and our time together is important. As children internalize this, they are able to play in the way they need to, trusting that what’s important to them is important to me. They are secure in their relationship with me and know I will accept them no matter what or how they play or what they say.
I often get asked, “Do you ever talk?” I’ll do a deeper dive into this in another post, but the short answer is, yes. However, what I say is a reflection of what the child is playing, saying, or feeling. I’m working hard to understand what is going on for them in their play and reflecting that back to them so they feel understood just as if they were having a conversation with me. My reflections also allow your child to internalize and put words to what they are playing, moving them forward and through the issues that bring them into the play room.
Another common question is, “Do you ever teach tools or bring their “issues” up?”. One of the foundations of CCPT is that children (and adults, too!) know what their issues are and will tackle them when they are ready. If I try to speed things up by structured activities, I’m pushing them to a place where they are not yet ready to go; this can set the healing process back. With a trusting and secure relationship, they will begin to explore and express what they need to when they are ready.
I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “But how do they actually learn anything?!” Grounded in CCPT theory is the belief that your child wants to get better (the fancy term is self-actualization). They have the capability to grow and learn about themselves and what they are capable of…who they want to be and who they don’t want to be…and will discover this through our time together, driven by the secure, accepting relationship. It’s as simple and as complex as it sounds!
If you think about it this way, behaviors are just a way for your child to communicate what they can’t with words, whether that’s because they don’t have the words to say or they are unsure what they have to say will be accepted (likely some combination of both). When they begin to truly express themselves and what’s underlying those behaviors, they get to work through those doubts, fears, frustrations, and hurts and come through it knowing they are capable and able, learning these skills through our relationship as they play. This is the power of Child Centered Play Therapy.
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